My Monday morning started like this
Miss 5 wakes up too early and whines that she is hungryeeeeeee and she wants me to get up nowwwwwwww!
After a little resistance I get up and make her breakfast.
She eats a couple of mouthfuls and says she is full (insert frustrated mums face here!)
It is still dark, Mr 7 is in bed and she asks to watch T.V. which she knows doesn’t happen on a weekday.
I say “You know the T.V. doesn’t go on on school days, come and finish your breakfast”
She resists and reads to me while I am eating my breakfast (I am happy as we are ticking one of the dozens of jobs that needs to be done before we leave for school!)
I start cleaning up the kitchen and getting school lunches organised and ask her to start doing the things on her list (we have a before school list of chores such as brush teeth, get dressed etc)
She says “No I’m not doing anything!”
I continue to do what I am doing and ignore her as she tells me again that she is not doing anything.
Once I am done I calmly take her hand, lead her to her bedroom and get out her clothes.
She throws herself on the floor, telling me she is not getting dressed.
I leave telling her she can come out once she is dressed
She whines, rolls around on the floor for 5 minutes until I come back in asking her to get dressed again.
She tells me again that she is not getting dressed.
At this point I have lost my sh** , grabbed her, stood her up and shouted at her to just get dressed!
Of course this aproach didn’t make things any better, she is now has tears streaming down her face, saying she doesn’t want to go to school and I feel awful.
When we finally get to school I have a short conversation with a mum at school who comments that Miss 5 is a little angel and I am such a calm mum! I got the feeling this mum was comparing herself to me and probably feeling ‘not good enough’ because her child is not as quiet as mine and she didn’t feel as calm as I appeared! ‘Appeared’ is the key word here because I am sure if she had been a fly on the wall in my house that morning she would have a different view of us.
Let me assure you that none of us mums (not a single one) have all aspects of our lives in perfect working order
Some of us are great cooks and always have nutritious lunchboxes packed for our kids
Some of us always look great with fashionable outfits and our hair and make up done.
Some of us are calm mamas with an amazing ability to connect with our children emotionally.
Some of us make it to the gym everyday.
Some of us have rewarding careers.
Some of us are dedicated stay at home mums
Some of us are creative
Some of us are house proud
Some of us are involved in our kids school community
But none of us do it all! Sure there may be that mum that appears to do it all and have it all but you never know what is happening behind the scenes.
That dream house could mean a huge financial burden
That perfect hair and make up could be hiding a low self esteem
That calm, connected mama could have a marriage that is falling apart at the seams
We often compare our less than perfect real lives with the highlight reel of someone elses life.
We are good at seeing what is going so well in other mums life and comparing it to the things that are not going so well in our lives.
When we are feeling unapprecaited in our marriage we see happy couples everywhere we look
When we are feeling like we are clashing with our children we see other mums all lovey and cuddly with their children
When we are feeling unsettled in our job we notice all our friends that have jobs they love
and social media fuels these feelings that certain areas of our lives are not god enough. Our facebook and instagram feeds are full of smiling mamas with their perfect kids posing in beautiful and exciting places but we must remember that this isn’t their ‘real life’ it is simply a moment in time.
My invitation to you is
- to catch yourself when you are comparing yourself to others.
- remind yourself that no-one has it all or is happy all of the time
- if you start to feel inadequate when you are on social media simply turn it off
- be honest with other mums about how you are, opening up about your not so perfect life invites others to open up too and can start real conversation
- focus on your strengths and embrace your weaknesses
- If there is specific part of your life that you are unhappy with (relationship, parenting, career, exercise regime etc) commit to making some changes.
I would you to share in the comments, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Lets open an honest conversation between mamas 🙂